Bittersweet

"Bittersweet is the practice of believing that we really do need both the bitter and the sweet, and that a life of nothing but sweetness rots both your teeth and your soul. Sweet is nice enough, but bittersweet is beautiful, nuanced, full of depth and complexity. Bittersweet is courageous, gutsy, earthy."
        -Shauna Niequist

The day that would never come finally came. For several months now, I have been praying and evaluating what my next move in life would be: would I stay in Houston or move? Would I do what I love (strength&conditioning) or get a regular 9-5 job? Would I go to grad school or not? The Lord made it abundantly clear to me that where He had me next was up in Dallas working at Crossfit White Rock. I have been really excited about it, and to be honest it has been somewhat of a struggle to finish strong here in Houston. But when it finally came to my last day, I was met with emotions far different than I expected.

As I walked out of the Elmer Redd Strength and Conditioning Center for the last time, I became overwhelmed with emotion. To be honest I almost started crying, which was totally unexpected. It's hard to put into words what that place has meant to me over the last year. I came in as a kid who thought he knew everything, and left as a man (haha, just kidding) who realized that I will never even scratch the surface of knowing everything. This is the place where I learned to be not just an instructor, but a coach. This is where I learned to snatch, clean & jerk, and squat. This is where I met some of my closest friends, and many athletes that I deeply respect, not just for their athletic abilities but for their character. This is where I experienced a lot of pain, and a lot more joy. I struggled here, I succeeded here, I got angry here, I laughed a lot here, I let my pride get in the way here, I was humbled here time and time again, I suffered from depression here, and a million times over I experienced joy here. And most importantly, Christ used every hardship and every success I experienced here to mold me more into His likeness.

It is bitter thinking that tomorrow morning, all of that stays behind me as I journey northward. But it is sweet indeed knowing that not only does the Lord has a plan, but that ultimately His plan is for my good and His glory. I know in Dallas, rich community awaits me. I know that new struggles, hardships, and persecutions await me. I know that I will laugh again, cry again, and certainly laugh until I cry. The Lord is good- He blesses me far more than I deserve in so many ways. Though nervous, I am excited to walk (by faith) with Him into this next chapter of life. Just as in weightlifting, all you can do is trust and dive under the bar.

Blessings

Trust

Trust. It's what you must do when diving under a bar. When that 200# bar is sitting at my hip, and all I have is a short dip and pop to get as much lift on it as possible, I have to trust that I will be fast enough to dive under it and catch it. There can't be any hesitation, any fear, any doubt that I won't be able to. If any of those creeps in, even for a split second, it can be the difference between a missed and made lift.

Trust is something I have been learning about in one way or another for the past six years. When I look back over my life, I see how time and time again I have worried about things I had no control over, and how the Lord has continually provided for me. Many times He provided in ways that I didn't foresee, but His ways have always been for my good and His glory. Let me recount the ways:

My senior year of High School, I had applied to only two schools- Texas Tech, and Texas A&M. I was auto entry to tech, but waiting to hear back from A&M. I got in, though I'm not really sure how. I had almost zero extra-curriculars, and my grades were above average, but not great by any means. Looking back, I can see how the Lord got me in because that is where He knew that I would grow the most in Him.

Next I had to find a roommate. I didn't want to potluck with some rando, and all of my friends already had living situations. Somehow, I got connected through a mutual friend with a guy I had never met, and we decided to live together. Five years later, 4 of which spent living together, he is my best friend. The Lord provided.

College can be intimidating, having to make a whole new group of friends. In the most obscure way ever, the Lord pieced together a group of 9 guys who all love and seek after Him, and after living in one house (and one room) together for 3 years, I now have a group of not just friends, but brothers. The Lord provided. BR

Time and time again, I was certain I was going to fail a class, but He helped me get through and earn my degree. The Lord provided.

I was a YoungLife leader in college, and there were many instances where I had to trust in the Lord to provide. One specific instance stands out in my mind. We had 19 kids signed up for camp, and that cost $750 per kid. Thats $14,250 that our YoungLife team owed. We fundraised most of it, but with about a month left we still owed $8,000. I remember one day literally getting on my knees in my kitchen and begging the Lord to provide. There was no way that a group of 8 college kids could raise that kind of money in one month. The next day, we received three checks- one for $7,500, one for $300, and one for $200. The Lord provided.

Before I could graduate college, I had to complete an internship. I got shot down at several places that I thought would be best for me, but eventually ended up landing an internship at the University of Houston. A year later, it has been one of the most joyful, amazing experiences of my life. The experiences I have had, and the people I have met and shared life with are something I treasure dearly. The Lord provided.

A week before I graduated college, I was still jobless and homeless. I vividly remember praying that the Lord would provide a way for me to stay at UH. The next day, I got a call from the athletic director wanting to interview me. Several hours later, I was employed. The Lord provided.

All of my buddies from college were living in separate cities, and now I was in a big city (Houston) with no brothers. I remember praying that the Lord would send me just one friend, and he provided in a big way. I met my training partner, my friend, and my brother in Steve. He and his wife have been a continued source of joy and comfort in my life, in a time where those two things were oftentimes hard to come by. The Lord provided.

With my contract with UH coming to a close, it was again time to find another job. After much searching, I ended up getting connected with a crossfit box in Dallas. The box is located a block from where four of my bros from college live. My natural response is to worry, to doubt. Why Dallas? Why crossfit? After looking back at my last six years though, I can't help but to trust that He has a plan, and that his plan is for my good and His glory. I'm sure that a year from now, I'll understand why. The Lord provides.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding." -Proverbs 3:5

Trust in Him. Dive under the bar of life